New goal: Singing in the shower.

But seriously! I'll explain...

As many of you know I've had some significant fears and shall we say 'reservations' about the field I'm preparing to enter and the nature of the work I'll be doing. I think the R-rated movie analogy is probably the most succinct in capturing the dilemma: If therapy is an R-rated movie (as I have heard it described to me and can somewhat understand in my limited experience, at least as far as content goes), how/why do I want to go there? Lover of light and other uplifting things that I am, I was (and still am at times) terrified by the prospect of becoming a therapist and listening to really dark stuff day in and day out. There, context established.

So I was reading this book about pornography addiction and recovery and then decided I'd take a shower tonight rather than in the morning since I see my first client at 8:00 in the am! I was in one of those good moods where you just start singing almost without thinking and ended up going through a few songs starting with "I love to see the temple" and ending with "Come Thou Fount." But it was kind of sad because I didn't know all the words like I wanted to! So I got to thinking (as I am prone to do) and decided I would like to learn the primary songs better, for several reasons but I'll mention two. First, I want to be well-versed in them and have them in my arsenal, so to speak (that sounds so extreme!) for when I'm a mom and can use them to soothe and teach my children. I love the power and comfort of music and love love love the Spirit it invites--which leads to my second reason! I want to protect and nurture that uplifting influence of the Spirit in my life (especially in light of becoming a therapist and the necessity of hearing/seeing/reading some things I'd often rather not spend my time thinking about).

I should clarify. I've been really blessed and it hasn't been like I feared. In fact, it's actually pretty cool. All my fears about the things clients would talk about--well I got a lot of those issues in the first week. And it turns out, it's fine! I'm fine! We're all fine! And singing primary songs? Well, I think it helps and will help, for life in general!

P.S. So I didn't anticipate doing this, but I think I'm going to turn this blog private. I know, I'm sorry. But you're all invited! (or I guess I should say you will all be invited). Now that I'm seeing clients and this is google-able, which makes me google-able...it just seems like it would be best for the sake of boundaries and safety. Make sense?